A Southern Belle

A Southern Belle

 The 19^th century Southern Belle was pictured as a beautiful, pampered young girl on her to a fancy ball wearing an elegant evening gown.  Some were defined as coy, willful, selfish, and totally dependent on the men in their life.  In reality, the wealthy young girls in the South were generally well educated in the areas of reading, writing, arithmetic, music, arts, and the French language.  Learning to sew and do needlework were also an important part of her education since the clothes back then were handmade.  The purpose of her education was to prepare her for an advantageous marriage.

Once married, the Southern Belle found herself the mistresses of a large plantation.  Her duty was to be responsible for all household matters and supervision of the household’s slaves.  Respectable Southern women were expected to do their part to hold up the plantation image which included being subservient to her powerful husband.  The “true” Southern lady was virtuous, self-sacrificing, and passive.  Of course, while making sure the household was in perfect order, she was expected to be the perfect hostess and organize the lavish balls and receptions that were part of the social life.  Many times the mistress was the one called upon for help in treating the sick on the plantation and in other times of distress when the husband was not around.

 Southern girls in the antebellum era had a relatively easy life.  Most well-to-do girls had a Mammy that was more like a family member.  The Mammy helped raise children along with the mistress of the plantation.  Of course, the rules of society had to be followed and the girls were expected to be virtuous and obedient to their parents. Strict guidelines in courting had to be followed- as the slightest ‘look’ of impropriety could ruin their reputation. Proper manners and etiquette was a must in the proper society – and any deviation from that was not looked upon well. Even though they were born free of slavery- the law looked upon the girls and women as property of the father or husband.

 

 Today’s Southern Lady

The original definition of a Southern Belle was a daughter of a white, wealthy, elitist Southern plantation owner.  Thankfully, times have changed and to be Southern Belle/Lady you just need to be taught the ideas and traditions of the Southern Belle.  A true Southern Belle has a charm that radiates whenever she enters the room.  Her genuine smile and sweet Southern charm will turn anyone's head.  The Southern Belle's must know rules:

• A Belle has perfect manners.
• Respect your elders.  Call anyone you meet "Sir" or "Ma'am" unless told to do otherwise.
• Make sure you always dress well and are presentable at all times.  Do not wear clothes that are too revealing.  Southern Belles love wearing dresses, pearls, heels, and nice jackets.  Invest in a few mice, casual dresses.
• Keep yourself looking clean and neat.  Bathe everyday, wear light perfume, keep your hair looking nice, keep your nails manicured and polished, and never, ever cake on the make-up.
• Southern Belle's are very family oriented.  Always help out your family, spend quality time with them, and love them.  A Southern Belle will call their Mother "Momma" and their Father "Daddy", no matter how old you are.
• Take compliments well.  When you are complimented, do not try to shoot down the compliment.  When someone says, "You look pretty today!", smile and say "Thank you.  I love your ...."  Complimenting them back shows that you are a sweet kind person.
• SMILE!  A Belle always has a bright, warm smile on her face.
• Have Southern hospitality.  A Southern Belle is a sweet, kind, and generous lady to everyone they come across.  This is where "Southern Hospitality" comes into play.  If you don't like someone, still be polite and sweet.  If you can't, simply do not say anything.
• Learn how to make sweet tea!  Offer it to everyone who visits your home.  It is a Southern staple and it tastes delicious.
• Don't drink excessive amounts of alcohol.  A Belle would never be caught singing drunk in her panties!
• Never swear.  Use euphemisms instead.  Say "Darn" instead of "Damn" and so on.  Swearing shows a lack of intelligence, it sounds dirty, and is completely unnecessary.
• Never speak of using the restroom to anyone.  If you need to use the restroom, simply excuse yourself.
•  Southern Belle's are very religious.  Respect your religion and those of others as well.  God is your number one go-to-advice giver.
• Have a genuine, sweet, down-to-earth attitude.
• Pay attention to how you present yourself.  Hold your head up high, sit up straight, and have a neat, groomed appearance.
• A true Belle is always ready to help.  She volunteers for organizations without a second thought.  She is active in her community and also her children's schools.  She will tackle a problem that no one else will attempt.
• A Belle knows how to cook.  She can whip up some fried chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy and serve fresh baked biscuits.  For dessert, she will serve a peach cobbler from a recipe that was handed down from her Grandmother.
• A Belle values her friends.  She showers them with kindness and affection while expecting nothing in return.  She will do everything she can to ensure their happiness and well-being.  She leans on them for support and expects them to do the same for her.

A Southern Belle/Lady will display a grace that only few seem to show.  It takes time, education, and perseverance to become a true Southern Belle!